


Clothespin Conundrum [Fic & Art]

by Marshview



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Art, Digital Art, Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Magical Accidents, Muggle Technology, Nipple Play, Nipple Torture, Nonsense, Prompt Art, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:08:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21545050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marshview/pseuds/Marshview
Summary: Harry's attempt to transfigure magical nipple clamps from Muggle clothespins has unfortunate results.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 11
Kudos: 54
Collections: Drarropoly 2.0 - A Drarry Game/Fest





	Clothespin Conundrum [Fic & Art]

**Author's Note:**

> The Drarropoly prompt:
> 
> 1st level:  
> Harry or Draco has modified a muggle item using magic and while it's bloody spectacular, it's also very, very illegal. Minimum: 403 words - Maximum: 733 words. 
> 
> Second level:  
> The item is either 1) Kinky -OR- 2) A fixture in a public place -OR- 3) Belongs to a third party - Minimum: 1012 words. Maximum: 2072 words. 
> 
> 3rd level:  
> Include Arthur Weasley in an important capacity. Maximum: 4128 words.
> 
> Made for Team Deluminator.

“Get them off me! Get them off me! Get them off NOW!” Draco shrieked, his voice spiralling louder and higher the more he lost control. 

“Sorry, I’m sorry, so sorry, I’m trying, love, please let this work,” Harry mumbled, as he swished his wand yet again.

Nothing. The enchanted clothespins remained firmly on Draco’s reddened, swollen nipples, continuing their relentless rhythmic twisting and pinching.

“This is all your fault!” howled Draco, “Never again will I trust you to come up with a sex toy. It’ll be fine, Draco, you said. I’ve transfigured lots of Muggle items, you said. It’ll be FUN! And SEXY, you said! This is NOT SEXY, Potter! This is ridiculous, and painful, and it’s gone on long enough! _GET THEM OFF ME!_ ”

“Erm, I’m trying, love, but I don’t know any other spells to try. I’ve already done _relashio maxima_ , and _finite incantatum_ , and even _alohomora_. I don’t suppose _diffindo_?...”

“ _Diffindo_? Are you mad? You are NOT coming near my nipples with _diffindo_! I swear to Merlin, Potter, I thought we were done with you slicing up my chest. I can’t believe this. It’s insane. What are we going to do?” Draco subsided into entirely pitiful whimpers, and Harry ran his hands through his already-dishevelled hair. 

“We need help, Draco. I think we should call Hermione.” 

“And have the Weasel trailing along for laughs? I think not. Surely you can come up with someone other than Hermione to do your thinking for you.”

“Erm,” said Harry, “Pansy, maybe?”

“Really, Potter? And subject me to the never-ending torture of being constantly reminded of this _contretemps_? Never.”

“Narcissa?” Harry hazarded. Sweet Merlin's sweat in a blender, they really were in a bind if he was suggesting Draco’s mother.

“Oh my Gods. You wouldn’t. You couldn’t. _I couldn’t_. There’s no instance in this time-space continuum where I would consent to subject my mother to this… this _abomination_! THINK! There must be SOMEONE who knows a thing or two about Muggle objects and transfiguration. And if you even _breathe_ McGonagall, our relationship is OVER.” 

Never let it be said that Draco wasn’t the _prima donna_ of all drama queens. Harry rolled his eyes (internally; heavens forfend his boyfriend caught him at it) and racked his brain for someone who would be useful, and who wouldn’t take the piss out of them both for all time over this predicament. 

Suddenly, a light went on in Harry’s mind. “I’ve got it, Draco. I’ll call Arthur. He’s sure to know how I went wrong. I’m certain it has something to do with the Muggle clothespins. Who better to ask? He’s spent his life studying Muggle items and how they interact with magic.”

“That’s... actually not a bad idea,” Draco allowed.

“Well, let me floo him now. Just hang on a minute,” Harry tried to pat Draco’s back reassuringly, but Draco simply gave him another death glare and moved out of the way.

Harry grabbed some floo powder and called out, “The Burrow!”

Molly answered the call, and said, “Well, hello, Harry! What a pleasure to see you! Are you eating enough? I just made a batch of those cinnamon buns you and Draco like so much. Would you like to come through? There’s plenty, and they’re still warm!”

“Erm, sorry, Molly, we’d love to, but we can’t right now.” Harry stumbled through an apology. “We actually need to speak with Arthur, erm, about an issue… well, an issue related to his work. Is he available? It’s kind of important.” 

“Kind of important! Hrrummph!” Draco snarled in the background.

“Oh, yes, dear, he’s right here. I’ll go and call him, shall I?” Molly smiled and disappeared before Harry could answer. 

Momentarily, Arthur’s head showed up in the flames. Harry startled, because he’d never seen Arthur wearing a beard before.

“Erm, Hi Arthur. You—you look different. NICE! I mean, you look good,” Harry stuttered. 

“Hello, Harry,” Arthur smiled. “Yes, I’m doing No-Shave November. It’s a Muggle thing, you know, where you don’t shave for a whole month, and it raises awareness for people with Muggle cancer. The treatments make them lose their hair, you know.” 

“Erm, yes. Good,” Harry said, at the same time hearing Draco’s quiet hiss, “Get on with it!”

“Erm,” Harry blurted, “We’ve got an issue, and we really need your help, Arthur. You see, I transfigured a pair of Muggle clothespins, and now they won’t come off... erm, well, off Draco.”

“Oh, really?” Arthur seemed rather excited and enthused. “That’s actually quite advanced magic, Harry. Completely illegal, of course, but the least said about that, the better, I suppose! May I come through and see?”

“Erm, yes please, do,” Harry replied.

Arthur arrived with a whoosh, and neatly shook his clothes free of floo powder. He smiled at Draco, and said, “Hello, Draco. Let’s have a look, shall we?”

“Be my guest,” Draco said through gritted teeth, trying in vain to smile nicely at Arthur, all the while giving Harry the look of doom.

Arthur bent closely towards Draco’s chest, and hummed. “Fascinating! You did a remarkable job, Harry. Not only the contraction, but the rotation, too, I see. Well, what have you tried so far to remove them?”

**Sized for mobile:**

**Full size:**

Harry explained about the spells he’d tried.

Arthur said, “Ah hah. And did you try, well, the manual method of removal?”

Draco snorted. “Yes, of course. I’m telling you, they’re stuck fast! I’m not yanking on them again; my chest is in agony as it is!”

“Quite,” Arthur said. “Well, let me think.”

Arthur stared at the clothespins, avidly watching them as they continued to swivel and squeeze. After a moment, he looked up at Draco and said, “I have an idea, but I need you to stay completely still for this. Do you trust me?”

Draco looked back at Arthur, and after a significant pause, carefully said, “Yes, sir, I do.”

“Alrighty then, let’s give this a go!” Arthur smiled and confidently whipped out his wand, pointing straight at Draco’s chest. 

Draco winced, shut his eyes, and held himself stiffly, utterly still.

“ _Submoveo Muggletum_!” Arthur waggled his wand in a complicated swirl, and Draco yelped as the clothespins clattered to the floor, still opening and closing, but no longer attached to his nipples.

“Ow! Ow! OW!” Draco whinged as he clamped his hands over his nipples. “They hurt even more now that the blood’s coming back!”

“Thank you so much, Arthur, I don’t know what we would have done without you!” Harry was so relieved, he was positively effusive. 

Arthur grinned and picked up the clothespins. “Ingenious little things, really. D’you mind if I take them for, erm, further study?”

“By all means, take those infernal things out of my flat! May I never see them or their ilk again!” Draco declared.

Arthur hummed some more, and made his way to the floo, with one of the clothespins clipped to his beard, and the other firmly attached to his left thumb. “Boys, I’ll be back in just a minute. I’ve got something to help you feel better, Draco.”

While Arthur was gone, Harry looked sheepishly at Draco and said again, “I’m so, so sorry.”

Draco harrumphed and said, “And what did we learn from this little nightmare, Potter?”

“Erm, never again will I try to transfigure a Muggle item into a sex toy?” Harry hazarded. “In fact—”

But just then, Arthur returned with a basket. “There’s a pot of Molly’s comfrey salve in there, just smear it on. It looks like gurdyroot paste and smells rather strange, as well, but it will definitely take the swelling down and reduce the sting. Oh, and there’s a dozen of her famous cinnamon buns, too. Nothing like a little something sweet to ease the pain, eh, boys? Well, best be off, then. Take care of yourselves, and never bother, we’ll not mention this again.” He winked, and disappeared in the flames.

Draco handed the pot of salve to Harry. “I take it you’ve used this before?” he asked.

“Sure have,” Harry replied. “Loads of times. It’s ace for quidditch scrapes and stuff. Here, let me…”

Draco sighed, “Oh, I suppose, go ahead. I’m simply so traumatised I must have a cinnamon bun this minute. I _couldn't possibly_ have a hand free for the application of salve.”

Harry snorted, but concentrated on very gently applying salve to Draco’s bruised flesh. “I promise, Draco, from now on, you’re in control of all the sex toys.”

Draco laughed. “Oh, Harry. You might wish you hadn’t said that. I have all kinds of ideas for your further education, and for your... _atonement_. Scared?”

Harry grinned. It was going to be all right, he could tell. Grabbing a cinnamon bun, he replied, “You wish!”


End file.
